An apple away keeps the doctor away.

If you keep the doctor away, her income may be unable to support her enormous debts.

If the doctor’s income cannot support her debts, she’ll have to declare bankruptcy.

If the doctor declares bankruptcy, because of our horrible laws regarding student debt, she may lose her house.

If the doctor loses her house, it will depress property values in the broader neighborhood.

If property values in the neighborhood are depressed, consumption of households in the neighborhood will likely decline.

If aggregate neighborhood consumption declines, it could adversly impact smaller local businesses, some of which may fail.

If local businesses fail, it will aggrevate economic strains, feeding a downward spiral.

If this pattern is replicated broadly enough, you’ll have an economic meldown.

The moral of the story? Real Americans eat potato chips.